Snails

Evidently, fear is not a factor for me. It was a typical August day in Martha’s Vineyard up until appetizers at Le’ Granier. As we were scanning the menu, I tried to find something that was worth eating. I was contemplating ordering either the demi Caesar salad (without anchovies, obviously) or plain pasta with butter and possibly some grilled chicken, if they could make it for me. When it came time to order, my father nonchalantly announced, “and she will be having the escargot to start.” I turned my head to the right to see if he was talking about my mom, whom I thought had ordered some sort of French soup as an app. I widened my eyes in confusion as I asked, “I’m getting the escargot to start…?” I knew my father was up to something, and I figured that whatever he had planned was worth it. I continued ordering, telling the waiter that I’d have a roasted chicken with mashed potatoes for dinner. As soon as the waiter plodded away, I death stared my dad. “You better have a good reward for this,” I warned him.

Fear Factor is a show that was always on in my house growing up; Christian, my mom, and I used to watch it all the time. The host, Joe Rogan, always got us going. We loved to see the contestants chew pig intestines apart or swallow down live bugs. It is completely nasty, but very entertaining.

Now, I know that snails are nothing compared to fish eyes and cow “parts”, but when I was ten years old, eating snails as an appetizer at Le’ Granier was a big deal. The dish finally was served and placed in front of me. The stench of the food coming from my plate made me made me gag, literally. Barret always knows when I’m up for a challenge, especially when it has to do with Fear Factor. So, I took him on and shoved those little snail bites down my throat for a crisp fifty-dollar bill.

I fished around in a soup of some sort of sauce for the first snail. As I bit into it, questionable juices squirted out in all directions of my mouth. It was slimy and slippery as it rolled down my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut as I barely managed to swallow it whole. Nothing tasted nastier. But, it was well worth the money and satisfaction of winning my little episode of Fear Factor.