Man Vs. Machine

Warning: do not try this at home. At first, the task may seem easy, but nothing could be more daunting. The total calorie count is over 9000, there are approximately 630 grams of sugar, and there are 143 grams of saturated fat (not to mention that 1 gram of saturated fat is 5% daily). The challenge: man vs. machine. This might sound like a joke, but it has been preformed more than once before. The reward: some amount of cash and the satisfaction of eating the entirety of a very full vending machine during a certain allotment of hours. Wall Street can get crazy sometimes; salesman and traders on the phone for hours upon hours, but here is the inside look of what happens behind the scenes. At first, I myself figured that it would be quite simple to take down a few bags of chips and a couple of packs of candy. However, after seeing the before and after pictures of the man who accomplished this mission, there is no way in hell that I could do what he did (even though he did throw it all up later that night). I could not imagine where to even begin given that I had to eat Skittles, peanut M&M’s, Reese’s cups, a Milkyway, a Twix, a Babe Ruth bar, a Snickers, a Payday, a giant Kit Kat, regular M&M’s, a strawberry cheesecake Danish, a fruit snack pack, Nutter Butter Bites, a Rice Krispy Treat, Strawberry Pop Tart (2 count), S’mores Pop Tart (2 count), Honey Bun (expiration date from the Bush Sr. administration), a cinnamon bun, Famous Amos cookies, mini Oreos, 12 packs of Lance crackers, BBQ pork rinds, 9 bags of chips, white cheddar popcorn, goldfish, and Chex Mix. Take a deep breath; I know your stomach might begin to turn at just reading that list. The things people do in terms of food challenges are preposterous, but maybe we can have a Kent man vs. machine in spite of Meatless Mondays. But, there are many food dares that I’ve witnessed. Try eating three Saltine’s in one minute and get at me.